by Annie Blake

‘I ain’t gonna live forever, I just want to live while I’m alive … My heart is like an open highway’ in It’s My Life by Bon Jovi

suspending my virginity / i can understand now / why my mother / never bothered to learn english / for learning a different language is being pear-shaped / bi-logic and the harbinger

of chaos / symmetrical and asymmetrical logic / and growing to become a woman / unhinging the eye like bi-valves / a hole in his middle / flesh pages / made fresh for she was my holy book / his countenance / the front cover / platitudes and a dialectic of how honey bees stick to bees /

/ a peach tree / maybe even a spine / i view my authority / not my agency / my relationship

with generativity / psychosocial development / elektra / laodice / daughter of agamemnon / god father of the old testament /

/ when i sell into hell / i told my counsellor i was in a burning womb / there is no stone covenant

or an ark in the bulrushes / i un-hand / my constructs / dip myself inward in his willow bones / the billow of his blood / for her bad bowl / how the howl / where even the pre-born / for my mother ordered me to retract / aliquot of my mind / for no one would ever marry me / and who would ever employ the insane /

/ dislocation of their limbs / uncorsetted dress of the heart / i couldn’t watch my child walk all the way down the street by herself / or listen to my husband tell stories of her when she was very young /

/ pressed between drowns in the sea / is mute / her mouth will open for nothing / for the wind will steal your song / seals or sills / heavier than my old windowpane / double hung / how it falls with its old rope / jam your smallest finger / they will make her close her eyes and ice-smile / she will pull out her generous swim / give you whatever belongs to her /

/ but it will only be a linear narrative / and they smell of no soul / and i’m on the verge

of a transgression / sancte michael archangele / he will give me redemption / weigh my soul /

/ shoulders can get stuck in a snake’s jaw / like newborns get stuck in their mothers / if i

can get in my shoulders edgewise / the snake can take all of me / it swallows / and i swallow and i swallow /

/ i miss how the sea used to make songs / old silent night and the waves were no longer merry / the waves rolled notes like the tails of quavers / stem and fishing hook / for i’m half of one / if only i can love them when they are very young  / for i quiver with nobody’s sin / fin / blue

and i come out of the water / for when you come down and unlie your hair in the river / the bush

will burn my ash / serotiny / the pharaoh’s daughter was not the wet nurse / and the concert

of her son and our sun /

Annie Blake is a wife and mother of five children. She started school as an EAL student and was raised and, continues to live in a multicultural and industrial location in the West of Melbourne. Her research aims to exfoliate branches of psychoanalysis and metaphysics. She is currently focusing on in medias res and art house writing. She enjoys semiotics and exploring the surreal and phantasmagorical nature of unconscious material. Her work is best understood when interpreting them like dreams. She is a member of the C G Jung Society of Melbourne. You can visit her on annieblakethegatherer.blogspot.com.au and https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009445206990.

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