by Annie Blake

‘But now … comes … a lamb, full of sweetness and willing to bear the sins of the whole world’
Agnus Dei

/ when my firstborn left the house to travel to school / but as i sat in my room / only if / my own
mother / ever cries for me / i did / for three days behind a door / and let her live / the bell
will ring thrice / in my own house / in harmony / the musicians playing / for god knows
who they really are / sometimes my mind / a word / my hand writes another / yeart / ear / art /
yeast / the east / heart / whine of the orchestra instead of wining water / instrumental
relationships / especially not brass / each grape / rose-colored / yeast and the rise of the host /
the vat / to pour down / suck into the umbilical straw of each phrase / their blood into us /
how to drink salt and to maintain / the wetness of children /
/ he writes me a letter / every morning a mother’s body must be empty / he was less interested
in poetics than our evolution / and it’s not about being rejected but about accepting i can be
rejected / i wrote down all my submissions in a book / i reached the end of it / i realized
the middle of the book was blank /
/ arlington wore a business suit / a poppy and a button hole / maybe he missed out on beautiful
things or love when he was young / my body is where men are buried / death on him was cut
neatly into parts and a flag in each of his squares on memorial day / they paint green on hills
and roll them thin like paper / i will never manicure my nails because bared boy bodies
and arboretums are contradictory /
/ but i don’t remember being psychotic / spine in branches that / how they break and splinter /
even in the summer / dropped vat / distortion and delirium because / deliver us / o lord / from all
evils past / present / and to come / the snow in winter just falls and falls / white bone / skull
and the word inside / for some / at the wake / they eat a sliced / slither of cake / for others /
the fruitless pip of hell /
/ i ask her to give me their pain / i swallow it all and stand / transparent and hopes and desires /
and a candy jar / she is more important than both my mother and father / i forgive myself / father
/ forgive them / for they know not what they do / my head / an iron anchor / for lovemaking
can be just as belligerent / to keep them in / and to keep myself out on the deck / for no one
should be laid / until i understand exactly what i’m doing /
/ until i have multiple goblets and pots / and we washed ourselves / came up clean / about why
we really married each other / to lick off the plentiful fish / star and hook / rise like her / instead
of the shirk / averting ship / for in my grandparents / i still feel myself shake / and catching
the petals that fall red like rain /

Annie Blake is a wife and mother of five children. She started school as an EAL student and was raised and, continues to live in a multicultural and industrial location in the West of Melbourne. Her research aims to exfoliate branches of psychoanalysis and metaphysics. She is currently focusing on in medias res and art house writing. She enjoys semiotics and exploring the surreal and phantasmagorical nature of unconscious material. Her work is best understood when interpreting them like dreams. She is a member of the C G Jung Society of Melbourne. You can visit her on annieblakethegatherer.blogspot.com.au and https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009445206990.

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